the breaks

so, i am foregoing the shift key as i type with one hand...please excuse my lackadaisical punctuation and such... high hopes for a killer race at sewell were crushed about fifteen minutes into the first lap. i remember flying over the bars, hitting the ground with a disconcerting thud...and that's about it...loretta stopped to check me out, followed by lauri...i stood up, wobbled off the trail with my bike & waved them on...first and last time i will ever, ever, have been in front of lauri. damn. my hands were shaking and for about two seconds, i thought i could race...a futile and painful attempt to grab the left grip and brake left me wandering through the woods, looking for the quickest way out. "excuse me...206, DNF." that's my first DNF... been racing since 2003 (missed one season while pregnant). finished every race i ever started... a broken hand is a good reason to bail out, call it quits... it's not like i am setting the world on fire with this season anyway. for fifteen minutes, i felt strong & tireless...sprung to life...then... done. thank you thank you thank you blakely & travis...you guys rock. thank you karen tourian, one of my fave crossers in the mid-atlantic, for your attention & reassurance...i was so out of sorts. (i still think the protocol at the ambulance was a little out of hand...i mean they put me on that freaking board...was i being punked???) these are the breaks... break it up break it up break it uuuup thank you, kurtis blow

Benedrunk

I am a giant, puffy Hive. In spite of the plentiful sunshine, I woke up cranky & tired. Cati convinced me to meet her for a ride so I introduced her to some new trails. My old bike is happy to be back in the rotation...I am riding the way I should. Now it's the end of a long, (mostly) trying day and I am a tired, itchy Hive. 2 Benedryls later... feeling better. A happy, shrinking Hive.

Good, Clean Fun...

Kid stuff...

Diablo, Gamm-ay, Gamps

Yoda, right at home...

I have mastered the perfect S'more!

Memorial Day...

Miraculously, I slept until almost EIGHT O'CLOCK...

Met Kristin at French Creek and took her on a fun & spirited two hour tour...felt great to spin the legs and play in the dirt. This was my first ride with Kristin on trails (we've torn up plenty of cross courses together...) and we had a blast. Nothing beats a fluid, clean ride...Oh,how I needed a purely fun ride.

Dinner at Victory with kids and friends followed by a campfire in the woods with the Perna's...

Introduced Kate to the S'more...she was not into it.

In fact, she wasn't really into the whole woods experience...we have some work to do.

(or not)

As for me, I could have stayed up there all night.

With another bag of marshmallows just for me.

The Sun Shined on Granogue...

Good things happened all day...

I raced my first enduro and rode 4 solid laps (I was thiiiiiis close to a 5th, but opted for the beer stop with 4 minutes to go).

I won the grand prize from the HERA raffle...an Indy Fab fork for my mountain bike...I won! I won! I won!! (I think over $1700 was raised for the cause...)

I caught up with Brian and even rode part of our first lap with him.

I rode with my dad on my 4th lap...he looked fresh and I was beat beat beat.

I lusted for cross every time I rode the run-up!

Most importantly, I felt like myself again on the bike...and I finished with a smile (a salt-crusted, gritty smile).

Many thanks to Faticus & all those responsible for yet another exceptional race experience at Granogue...oh, hearing "GO KIM DUBECK!! STAND UP!!" while climbing up to the tower was a nice touch...all I could think was, "Motherfucker..." followed by, "It's good to be Kim..."

And,

Thanks to Dan K and his family for the transition hospitality!

Ice cream tonight.

Ice. Cream. Tonight.

Time Out

My parents took sunny Son to the zoo... I had grand illusions of painting the bathroom, organizing outgrown clothes & toys (the kid's), and spring cleaning. The laundry remains untouched. I am sipping my second cup of green tea, watching Brokedown Palace, and leafing through a Red Envelope catalog. Ha! ...twenty more minutes of this, then I will hit it hard. Or not.

Last Day of School

I'm trying to find my inner roadie...little by little, it's working. My dad took me on an excellent (and hill-acious) ride late yesterday afternoon. Knowing he wouldn't pull any sketchy moves, I was able to stick myself to his wheel and go, go, go...by the time we returned to our neighborhood, I felt strong and incredibly hungry. I heart my Six 13!!!! 3 hours after the ride, I was on the phone with my dad begging for one tiny rectangle of gritty Italian chocolate...mmmmm. Best. Chocolate. Ever. Today is Diablo's last day of school. He actually busted into my room this morning with a resounding, "Woo hoo, last day of schooool!! Woo hoo, summer VACATION!!" He's three. Dude, you go to "school" twice a week! Is it really that rough?? Memorial Day Weekend fast approaching... Granogue. The New Kings of Rhythm at the Chadds Ford Winery... And! And... the Pros are coming! The Pros are coming (Part Three)...they will be here soon...I can't believe it is that time of year again.

Thanks, Matt!!

For one year, I went to photography school. I wasted an embarrassing amount of my parent's money. I wasted time (not) studying and procrastinating and suck suck sucking at being a student (don't fret...I eventually got it right, but that is a story for another post, perhaps devoted to my beloved son someday)... So. Brian was my favorite person at school. He made me laugh harder than anyone had in a lonnnng time and he coaxed me out of my sullen, holier-than-thou shell. Sullen no more. Our school was small and admittedly, kind of pathetic...(it was, after all, housed in the back of a municipal building). I don't remember much about shutter speeds or light meters or f-stops or how long you must agitate the film in the developer... I remember learning how to play poker, listening to Live and Weezer, riding around in Kim's dangerous red van. I remember Frank's perm (that's right) and Pedro's hat, and Barry's car and Tad's boots...I remember last minute runs to the city and traipsing around the water works and Kelley Drive...I remember cooking plain pasta in the boys dorm and making fun of Greta and Ellen. I remember Julie's laugh and Danielle's sarcasm (and flannel shirts). I don't remember the kid's name, but there was a wannabe pilot and we were all, "Dude, why are you here??" And most of us sucked or didn't try very hard...though, some of my friends took amazing photographs...beautiful, honest photographs. And most of smoked cigarettes and relied on soft pretzels and those little cartons of lemonade from the lunch truck. Yes, the lunch truck... I told you, it was a funny little institute... I stayed for one year. Tad came to my Halloween party when I lived in Delaware...that was the last time I saw anyone from my first stab at higher education. But, Brian was my favorite and guess what? He's racing at Granogue Saturday. And he married Julie with the cute laugh. Get. Out.

Clink, Clink

I'm gonna be in a wedding! I'm gonna be in a wedding! When she asked me, I thought she was kidding. We lost three years of friendship over something inexplicable (I guess) and stupid... My mom doesn't want to hear about it...which is a shame because I am just happy & relieved to be friends with one of my favorite people again. What's so wrong with water under the bridge? The ring is beautiful & sparkly & full of hope...awwww. Her fiance is funny & smart & good-looking... (plus, he has a stable of really cool vintage road bikes & he knows his shit)...He's leaving for a two-week tour of Tennessee on two wheels, so he is alright in my book. So, there was a small, celebratory gathering with champagne, potty humor, a campfire, a weary St. Bernard, the Flaming Lips and Vampire Weekend...luckily (and not surprisingly), I felt right at home.

Chester County Challenge

Well...that was the last I'd see of BP...Upon rolling out of the parking lot, his group was gone, gone, gone... dad, wait uuuuupppppp... I didn't hang. I could have blown myself up trying, but then I wouldn't have noticed the colts or the red-winged black birds or the lilacs.

(double) Pimpin' Ain't Easy

Another distastrous ride... Good company, premium trails. Twitchy bike, confidence issues... "Hi, my name is Kim and I forget how to ride a bike." Some advice, some insight... "Empty your head, man...empty your head..."

"And you be the Mom Troll!!"

Now through November 23, there are tree houses not to be missed at Longwood Gardens...do you think they'll let me move in??

Lucky

On the Rocks at Frech Creek 08...or, a little less blogging, a little more riding...

Seen, heard, felt: 23 (?) miles of slippy, muddy, sweaty, hilly trails...(rocky? yes, that, as well)... "You can give up the ice cream, but definitely not the beer." Yay, permission granted!! This put a smile on my face. "Your tires are pumped way too high, you're bouncin all over the place!" Dude, ride your own race...worry about yourself. Hurtin, I am hurtin. "This is your home turf, you should be smokin it!!" (this, as I struggle up orange the SECOND time). Shut, the f**ck up. dropped my blueberry Luna Moons and STOPPED to pick them up...and ATE THEM...ate the dirty, sticky little bitches. Thorns, literal thorns, in my side...ahhh, a soft, slow landing on a mossy rock... Climbing purple, walking the first rock garden...no. trudging. I was trudging. but, she won't let those robots defeat me...Finally, a pleasing song stuck in my head. Results posted, nothing worse than hearing, "At least I wasn't last." To which I reply, "I was last." $45 cold hard cash...for 7th place (out of 7)...sweeeet. Eww, I just said "sweeeet." Crumpling into a lonely heap in the tall, weedy grass after my race...sitting on a dirty towel, head in my hands...nearly bursting into tears. For what?? It's a mountain bike race. Why are all the Sport riders so cheerful??? RRR, Anne Rock, you wanna fight? Let's go, biatch. So, now what? Now I scratch out all the head games and get on the bike and do my thing... "It's all for cross" anyway... well, mostly.

I Rode Marsh Creek Today, The Weather is Perfect...Why Do I Feel Sorry for Myself???

I am averaging two beers and one milkshake per week... This is kind of a big deal and I was kind of stressing out about it. Don't laugh, don't be snarky about me stressing over two beers a week... It's my thing... All through cross I was super-disciplined about not consuming any junk, any gratuitous crap... I still try to abide by the No Gratuitous Crap rule, but lately I have become a bit more flexible with my diet... Some mornings I wake up and feel like I have worms... My clothes fit fine, I don't have (too many) issues about my appearance or body image... It's weird...sometimes I wonder what I would feel like if I didn't ride, if I didn't go hard on a fairly regular basis. I wonder what my life would be like if I eliminated the need to push myself, physically... What if I could be satisfied with a stroll around the neighborhood after dinner? What if a 5 mile hike felt taxing... I also wonder what it would feel like to devote myself full-time to training and racing. At my age what kind of athlete would I be? I know I was somewhat active before I started riding...we had a boxer puppy with boundless energy, which made for many long & hilly hikes in the woods. Now I wake up and wonder: Can I ride today? Where am I going? Who's in? I don't know...the two beers had me thinking...(and for the record, this week it was Magic Hat Lucky Cat)...last week I wanted only (one) Golden Monkey... Sometimes, I know I need to ease up on myself... The kid, the sleep (or lack thereof), the racing, the home, the bikes, the laundry, the family, the laundry, the friends, the weeds growing in the yard, the books gathering dust, the pineapple plant in need of watering, the nuisance phone calls, the dinner rut, the laundry... So, two beers a week...ease up, Kimmy Kims...ease up... (I can easily eliminate the milkshakes...yeah, I will break that habit immediately). Do green tea frapps count???

In Response to, "On Your Left"...

I passed a woman on one of the last climbs before the ten/twenty-five mile splits yesterday and she said, "Hey, little turkey, where'd you come from?!" Yeah, she actually said that. I mean, little turkey??? What???

Feed Me

Woke up hungry and went straight for the Hershey Bar...mmmmmm. All I could think about today was food... nothing, NOTHING, could sate my nasty need for food. Breakfast was lame...Diablo wanted "Mega War" Pancakes...what the hell are Mega War pancakes?! "You know, mom, you made them the other day...you know, Mega War!!" "Ummm, refresh me...be more specific." "Mega War!! You know, like, shaaaaapes!!" "Oh! Mega War pancakes, right...okay..." So, I made some batter and poured some random blobs into the hot pan...sprinkled a little cinnamon, gave em a nice drizzle of Grade B Maple Syrup (a wise tip from someone in the know)...and presented them to my salivating son. Crossed my fingers and, "Yeah, mom!! Mega War!! Mmm! Goo-ood!!" phewwww. Me? I had my share of pancakes (silver dollars for me), some cereal, some yogurt... And I did not stop eating all day long til, oh, 9:30pm. Grilled cheese. Toast with honey. Another square of chocolate. A Baja Chimichanga from Senora's (it is Cinco de Mayo, right?). Another square of chocolate. A chocolate truffle left over from my birthday. I can't find any ice cream. Or bacon and eggs. Damn.

Michaux Maximus (Twenty Five)

3:56... Three hours and fifty-six minutes. I did not race today. I rode an epic twenty five mile adventure with Jill Bialy... It was a perfect day. I am destroyed.

I am constantly impressed with the friends I have made in this community, through racing & riding.

Constantly impressed.

By mile 8 I was ready to quit and claim my first DNF ever. I was dead last, every other woman had passed me.

Then...

I reeled in one woman on a long climb...we chatted about our kids, about how we were happy to just be out riding and doing our thing.

Then...

I caught up to Jill and told her I was feeling better...her plan was to just ride her own ride, she didn't care where she ended up results-wise...that approach made way more sense to me than DNFing. It's not every day I get to ride such beautiful, scenic, challenging trails

At the ten/twenty-five mile split, Jill and I agreed to ride & finish together...we stopped and ate our bars, stretched a little...she assured me the rest of the loop would be much more fun. Rocky, ruthless fun.

No more mud pits, no more hub-deep bogs. Okay, I am in!

I don't even know Jill...we raced the Susquehanna Scorcher together a few years ago, she kicked my ass at Ludwig's cross in '06, and we were on a group ride together at Belmont this winter...that is the extent of our acquaintance.

So, I had one of my favorite, most challenging rides ever today with a girl I hardly know...

That place is nooooo joke! And I am far too pummeled to divulge anything else tonight...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

How He Rolls...

Graham Crackers, Chocolate, and Marshmallows

It's Friday. We made S'mores for dessert. I am racing Michaux on Sunday (my dad's idea...I hadn't even entertained the notion before he mentioned it). And that's all you need to know.